Strobe Lighter

MY LIFE. MY THOUGHTS. MY WORDS.

Earliest Recollections of my Mother.




My mother was born in Western Samoa in January 14,1959. She has always been the MVP of our family. She married my father on November 11, 1979, in Salt Lake City. My parents had me the following year. We moved and I know I was a difficult child. My mother never understood why. She just tried her best to deal with me. She loved me. She was a great mother. My memories of my mother as a child are priceless to me. I was the eldest of three. I was also the only girl. I was my mother’s little helper. Certain circumstances I had experienced as a child, put me on a difficult path. 


As far as I can remember my mother tried to understand me. There were things about myself, I wasn’t ready to share with my mother, even at six years old. She tried as best as she could to see me, understand me, then offer as much help as she could. Even at such a young age, I fought for the safety of myself and my siblings. It was difficult but hard to prove, I didn’t need any child-sitter watching us. My mother did her best to ensure comfortability in my life. Although she didn’t understand my behavior, she always shared her own experiences as a child. She would always find common ground, in anything that would interest us both.


I did everything I could to stay home, after school, instead of the babysitter. My mother taught me how to make food for myself and my brothers. This consisted of bologna and cheese or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It was simple enough. She made formula bottles, and taught me how to warm them, using the kitchen timer. She made it very clear to me that the world wasn’t always safe. She stressed the importance of keeping the front and back doors locked, not to be opened to anyone. My mother took every precaution to ensure a safe spot for me to watch myself and my brothers. I remember strict instructions to ensure no fatal accidents at home. 


When we left one county for another, things seemed safer. I got to witness my mother flourish. She was in her twenties. She had so much energy. She was always a great cook. I’ll never forget the different recipes, she would try. She would always put her own little twist on the dish. She would tell me that she was adding love to the dish, to make it her own. I’ll never forget  the crafty days, I used to have with my mother. We would bake desserts and make decorative items by hand, to deliver as gifts. We tried all different kinds of treats. If mom loved it, we tried it. If we loved it, mom would list the treat as something to make for fun. We’d get to enjoy the treats, before delivering them to our loved ones and the community.


Dad was always away, as a child. It was usually, just us and mom. It wasn’t a huge deal. Mom always knew how to hold her own. She was always working. Although, most of my adolescent years, she was working for different school districts, she always ventured out of that field, just to challenge herself. There was even a time when she was working at the Herbalife building, downtown Los Angeles. She made really good money there. However, it wasn’t where she wanted to be. Anytime, mom needed more money, she picked up side hustles.She picked up so many part time jobs, to ensure her kids were taken care of. Some of the side hustling, included deli services at the local Albertsons, seasonal sales associate at the local See’s Candies, or even early morning newspaper routes. It didn’t matter as long as she was given an opportunity.


Mom used to love motion pictures as a child. She would take to the movies or to the local Blockbuster & Hollywood Videos, to rent VHS tapes. Our favorite was scary films. We would rent so many, then build forts in the living room. We would spend the entire weekend chillin in our mountain of blankets and snacks. Mom also enjoyed going to the Cinema Theatre. For a time, there was only the four of us. It was typically myself, my two younger brothers and our mother. We would sneak snacks into the Cinema Theatre. If we wanted our cousins to join us, she would take us to the drive-in theatre. We were always entertained. 


Mom even gave us each a weekend, to choose an item at a store of our own choosing. I would always choose posters and cassette tapes of my favorite musician. My brothers always had a series of toys, whether it was TMNT or Ghostbusters, she allowed us to explore our own preferences. She would be so happy just to see us kids get excited. She was always so open to the possibilities of us. We had so much fun with our mother. 


I remember all the fun places she took us as kids. She was so adventurous. She made friends outside of our church community, our family and our culture. She had a few best friends. We used to meet up to attend football games, visit theme parks, and take trips to experience places, site seeing, historical sites, and other fun activities. There were a few places & moments I can recall off the top of my head. We went to football games to watch the sons of her friends play. We traveled to Bear Mountain to go ski. I ended up just sledding with the younger kids because I didn’t pack the right clothes for the trip. It was an adventure I’ll never forget. 


My mother was so resourceful. She knew the ins and outs of almost every avenue, to take for assistance from the government. Mom was one of the few siblings, who did not get an education. She didn’t even complete high school in the earlier years. She later got her G.E.D. equivalency til after Dad passed. She was almost 40 years old. She enjoyed working for different school districts, in Special Education programs. She had a huge love for disabled children. I remember seeing in her element, at work. The compassion she had and care she took, for them, was something that always made my heart full.


I have so many memories of my beautiful mother. There is so much to share about this gorgeous soul. I know there is more about her I want my own to know. These are my experiences of my mother. To be cont. 



Back II Blogging

It has definitely been a while since I last blogged, and I do miss it. I love to write. I feel better about voicing myself through writing then any other form of a expression and comparable to the gym or gun range, it's therapeutic for me. Much has occurred since my last entry. We've moved a few times, only to temporarily reside in Salt Lake area. It's been a journey, however our plans to move back to Utah County are currently in development. We are here in West Valley, for the sake of our daughter's progression and growth at Mana Academy Charter School. 

My brother's would agree that I tend to over share, but it is all to ensure closure, without any misunderstandings, of the person I am and my intentions. So, I have decided to begin blogging again with the certainty of telling my story. As an honest hard working mother of a gorgeous (tween) pre-teen, a wife to a beautiful soul, a sister to duo success stories, a Rheumatoid Arthritis patient, a go getting risk taker, and a regular gym rat, I am constantly, adapting, blooming, and gaining a better understanding, from day to day trials and triumphs. I feel closer and closer to becoming the women I want to be. It is our freedom to share our moments, our thoughts and our experiences. This is my story, and I chose to share it with everyone. :) 

Love our growing Family!

Last Saturday was an eventful day. Our dear brother Jerome Bernard married his love Tupu Reid at the Timpanogas Temple. We were fortunate to enjoy such a lovely reception, held in their honor, by the brides family. My brother Jerome is my Mother's Husband Lose Bernard's son. We had such a great weekend with family & friends. Along with my other siblings here in Utah, I also got to enjoy the company of my brother Peter, his girlfriend Charlene, my sister Pearl, her son Kaimani and cousin Puni, all from Washington. Unfortunately, I didn't take as many pictures as I wanted to, but here is what I did capture...


Congrats to the Newlyweds! May your days together be built on a firm foundation of forgiveness, kindness, sacrifice, respect, admiration and unconditional love for one another. We love you both so much and wish you nothing but the best! Tupu Dear, welcome to our big Brady Bunch!






YSBDU 2012

Had such a blast, but posted most of what I can remember on my fitness blog, which I plan on focusing most of my blogging & writing time. However, I just wanted to share a few of my pictures from one of the funnest days, I have ever had since my love for Zumba.
Kass Martin's Master Class
Zumba Toning & Sentao
My survival kit for the day!
HOT HULA with Lisa Loomis
Found my RA Zumba Sistah Tui!
2 EXCiTED 4 our ZFourHour Concert 2 Start!
 Aftermath...over 5000 calories later...SORE FEET!
Zumba Soldiers! LoL!
 
Yes, we had a blast! I was excited we were invited to battle with EMZ and I even had the opportunity to share how Zumba had changed my life and what Zumba means or is to me. I'm loving all the new ZIN40 numbers and the routines brought back from the 2012 Zumba Convention!
 
 
 
 
 
 

Can you really feel my pain?

Although I LOVE to...
 
 
my REAL challange is the...
 
Relationship I have had with these guys....
UGH!
 

Sunday, FAMILY Fun Day!

WHAT CAN WE SAY??
 
THE BEST SUNDAYS ARE
FAMILY FUN DAYS!

Our life is RICH & BLESSED...

with the Comfort & Joy
 

Family :)
What is life...

without FAMILIES and


without LOVE?
So CHEERS...
and here's to...

our growing
 FAMILY!

which includes...
our many extensions...

through marriage & blood 

Families are Forever!

BOOGYDOWN B-TOWN

I know I refer to it as our, "Bummer Summer in Bizzy BMore", but that was labeled by my own personal experiences. I don't blame anyone for having a, "Not as Expected" type of summer, but myself. We had our UPS and we had our DOWNS. However, I don't regret any of it. It was a learning experience. An eye opener which taught me many things and made me appreciate everyone back home. 

We took a huge risk in storing our things and leaving our home. I realized there were so many things I could have done to differently to better prepare for an experience like that. I do miss the people we have worked with. The  Baltimore office definitely had an amazing team of people. The trainings and work, taught my husband and I so much about ourselves. endurance, strength and other skills and talents were tested. It may not have seemed so at the time, but we really did learn how to apply ourselves, in anything we do. 

Although, I personally felt our trip, messed up my body, it was definitely an adventure. I have come to realize that life is too short to settle. My husband and I have had the big home and nice furnishing and decor (been there, done that) and felt it was time to make more memories, time to move on. Time to really enjoy life, because the materialistic things and collectibles items can not leave this life with us, when our clock runs out. This life offers so many places to see and much more people to meet.  
Baltimore, Maryland experience selling Safeguard for Silverline gave us a summer memories that I know I will always cherish. Especially, our time together at the end of every crazy day, sharing and talking stories in our apartment about our day and the crazy people we encounter. The competitions on Friday Fun Day. The kai po moments we had with our knock knock partners. This was a summer, we will never forget. Our first year, surviving the crazy heat, humidity and crazy people. 



I have a brief moment to breathe, before being thrown back in the rush of LIFE. I'm so grateful for how busy my life has got, because it keeps me going. It keeps me smiling, moving, positive and happy. Staying busy, keep me from beating myself up. It keeps me from the negativity of my own doubts and it keeps me from worrying or caring about what others think of me. I admit, I have a very dark side of me. A side of me I hate and sometimes can't control. I thank my family, my friends and most importantly my husband for keeping me safe from self destructing, at times.

My husband will be leaving in less than a month, to the other side of the country and I can't stop thinking about what I'm going to do without him. :o(  He's my better half, he's the better spouse, the better everything. Like any wife, I'm going to miss his touch, his voice, his scent, his priesthood, his presence. Most of all, I'm going to miss his loving and caring help with his cripple wife. Tears continue to flow and he hasn't even left yet. :o(

On a scale of 1 to 10 my Level of Pain today is an ELEVEN!



I'm feeling a little

but yet a WHOLE LOT OF PAIN in my joints


I'm sad I can't go KickBoxing like I wanted but at least there's always...


plus I love the ENERGY at Gold's...