Strobe Lighter

MY LIFE. MY THOUGHTS. MY WORDS.

Living it up, buried life style...



I've always been a very active person. In middle school, I played every sport in our little league competitions. As I made my way to high school, I was in love with dance, modern dance. I played HS volleyball, basketball and took tae kwon do. During my young adults years, I fell in love with lifting and boxing. As a wife and a mother, my body has changed. All the things I love to do have been put on hold. Before my RA issues, it was the massive weight gain. I miss being active. I miss feeling the high of a great work out. I miss sweating while revving up on an exercise bike. I miss running the track. I miss the adrenaline rush of training. I was watching Lauren & Alex on SYTYCD and I felt a longing to get my body back in the groove. It's a little hard right now with the constant inflammation in my joints, but after watching the Beyonce "I am yours" concerts, something lit up inside me. I realized I'm not pursuing the joy in my life. I'm not living the life I was intended to. I need to discover how to live my life centered around what matters most to me. I'm no longer going to let my life be determined for me. I must recapture the spirit of adventure I had as a child, when I thought I was invincible and spent time dreaming of all the exciting things I was going to do when I grow up. Well, I made a bucket list. This is more of a constant growth motivator. I know I'll never get to do a lot of these things, but work hard to make some of these things happen...

Go Indoor Skydiving
Ride "The London Eye"
Indulge in NY's finest Pizza
Break a Guinness World Record
Get certified to conceal a weapon.
Take the Rocky Mountaineer in the Canadian Rockies
Train to Serve & Spike like pro-VB
Play acoustic guitar & ukulele
Brush up Writing & Reading Skills
Go Rock climbing
Acquire More Computer Programming Skills
Bungee Jump in Boulkran's River Bridge
See BIG Lights in NYC & Tokyo
Invent a convenient contraption to add to all the "As seen on TV" junk.
Go paragliding
Dance in a Modern Dance Concert
Write a Love Song
Climb the Eiffel Tower
Swim with the Sharks
Go to a Carnival in Rio De Jeneiro
Ride a Gondola in Venice
Sky Dive with my Friends
Pose Nude
Participate in a Triathlon
Learn Archery
Visit Italy, France, Costa Rica and the Mayan
Lay out in the Gold Coast, AU.
Go Canoeing and Kayaking
Swim across the English Channel
Take Kick boxing (cage fighting)
Dance in all forms
Check out a high end walkway display during NY fashion week.
Yoga & Surf on a beach
Learn to fly a plane
Ride in a Hot air balloon


To start I realize I need to create a blueprint of my ideal life, then take the necessary action steps to build this life. I have many reasons and many fears that hold me back from accomplish these dreams, like "I'm afraid". I'm not going to be a victim of circumstances, but the creator of my life. It's time to graze at life's all you can eat buffet. This will improve the quality of my life. In banishing my fears of imperfection, I know I'll be surprised at the woman inside me. My life has meaning and joy, I just need to fill it will engagement. I'm going to be the Hero in my life, prioritize my list, set specifics, measurable time bound goals I can achieve. I know I will need to commit and set empowering beliefs, boost my self image, visualize and rigorously exclude my fears. I'll need to train my reticular activating system, make time my ally, stick with a one hour formula that will help me get my physique right, create good habits to keep going, measure track my progress, go over, under, or around obstacles, strengthen my will power, enjoy my victory list and last keep a record of my Journey, here of course on Niva Diva Diaries.

I miss dancing :(

I love when a man (out of the blue) gets up in his home, turns off the lights, lights candle, closes the door, puts on some R&B and bows down to ask his wife to slow dance in their bedroom. I miss slow dancing.



FB Quote of the day....

 
 
Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forgive the ones who don't and believe that evrything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it would be easy, just promised it would be worth it.
Thanks Gina Manuleleua! ;)

Love has no gender...



As much as I love GLEE, I hesitated watching, "Grilled Cheesus", because of the faith and religion theme. It makes me very uncomfortable, wondering where do bisexual, transsexual, homosexuals and suicides end up.

After viewing this serious episode, I was left an emotional mess. I know what I believe is real. It just hurts to know that the reality is, there are so many wonderful souls lost at sea. I couldn't help but to get on my knees and prayer for these souls. I wish everyone really knew that there is a way to be "Together Again" as a family. Knowing this would comfort so many who lose their religion or faith because of a great loss in their family or life.

I know God is Real and that he loves us. I feel God is good and that comfort can really be found in his love for us. No disrespect to Atheist, but I can't understand ever going through life without faith in a higher power. There are some concerns I will address. Homosexuality. It's real. It's a battle, like those who fight hard every day against depression. I recently read a story about an LDS man who grew up in a Mormon home, who received his Eagle, served Sacrament in the youth faithfully, graduated from Seminary, served a full time mission, returning with honor, married in the Temple and raised wonderful children.

There was another side of his story. All through out his life, he always felt different. He had always been attracted to men. He fought these urges, as our religion condemns Homosexuality. Growing up, even before his mission he reportedly visited his Bishop regularly. They counseled him in accordance to the Proclamation, "We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife."

This man prayed and prayed. His family prayed and prayed. His friends prayed and prayed. His leaders prayed and prayed that his troubles and his burdens would lighten. This man wanted to love his wife the way Heavenly Father intended him to. He too believed that he was wrong to want to be with a man, such as himself. He continued life with this battle. Our dear brother no longer wanted to feel these urges, desperately trying to not sin, he took his own life. 

I have many Homosexual friends and family members, who I just love love love. They are the most bubbly, sassy and yet most caring people I know. Regardless of my faith, beliefs and testimony, which I can assure you cannot be waivered, I can't help but to feel so bad for our dear brother who lost his battle. I know Heavenly Father loves them. I know they will not be damned to hell. I'm just at a loss for words as my heart goes out to those who want to love those of the same gender, such as their selves. I hurt for those who have felt outcast from our religious network. I pray for you, not to be straight, but that you will find love and peace in all that you do and that our Heavenly Father will be mindful of you too.




Book Fair...



Yesterday, while grocery shopping, Alana kept asking to raise her allowance from $1.80 to $10.00. Crazy, right? I asked her why a little girl her age, needed so much cash. She said it was for the book fair and that all the kids at school were making neat purchases. Of course, I replied no and explained the purpose of working for your money. I explained what money does for our family and the importance of budgeting and living within our means. I felt pretty good about our conversation.

Today, my husband picks me up and tells me he just gave Alana the money. I was shocked. I got real upset and told him about the conversation I had with Alana, the night before. He apologized as he was unaware that I declined her little request, earlier. We picked up Alana from school to drop her off at her Math Tutor and Reading Literature class and she told us she bought an eraser for $8.00. I was so upset. My first thought was, "OMG, this little girl didn't hear a word her mama said last night, I'm going to sasa her". I thought long and hard about it. I ended up talking to her about her withdrawn privileges. she will no longer be making any purchases from the book fair and that we will continue to only check out her books from the City Library.

I was so mad, I didn't even want to give her the cookies, my husband brought for her from work. My husband later laughed about it saying, "That crazy Hun, and $8.00 eraser". I told him not to bring it up before I heat up again. (lol) Patience is a real virtue, I'm still attempting to acquire. I sat her down and explain the worth of a penny and our economy. Mom & Dad's budget and our goals for the future that include money. Lesson learned.

HOOD LOVE....



I love my husband and I know he loves me. Regardless of our "ups" and KARAZEE "downs", I know he is as passionate about me as I am for him. Mary J. Blige & Trey Songz described us well.

We got hood love, I be cussing I be screaming
Like its over
Then I'm lonely then I'm feening just to hold ya
And that's how we do
You know that hood love is the good love
That's me & you
How feel love?
Well I'm with ya never quit ya &
Now that's real love
When your not here then I miss ya cuz
I still love the way we do
You know that hood love is the good love
Ya that's me & you ...

We love harder than we fight and believe me we fight like it ain't no body's business. People ask, how do y'all do it. Honestly, we just do. I feel like our marriage is a bit similar to my parents. It's not really healthy but at the same time you can't live with out it. We're definitely each other's drug. I know it sounds crazy, but those who have witness our love, know just how crazy we both are. (lol) I can't even believe I'm admitting it, but I'm just keeping it real. Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness, and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy.... or they become legend. I'm just crazy. Some people never go crazy like I do, and I think what truly horrible lives they must live? (lol) No, our love is just crazy, mostly because of me. My husband makes me nauseous and tingly all at the same time. Sometimes, I blush and heat up all over because I want to hug and kiss him at the same time I want to smack him. Have you ever heard the lyrics of a song and think, "Yes, that's us"? Well, today's IPod shuffle played a track that made me really feel like, "YES, that's our love".


I'm her baby, she's my shawty...
Now who's right there
Every time you cry
Go to sleep and wake up on your side
Endless love I always provide
They hatin' on us and you should know why
But who's been lovin' you lately?
Who's willin' to go half on the baby?
Who, who, who's tryin' to flag our ship?
They just tryin' to get the love you give
But baby

Tell me what they know about my love

So they don't understand why I never leave you
Explain my love I don't need to
Got everybody way up in our business
'Cause leaving each other
Stay on they wish list
I see them reaching every time
You call me baby
They on my back like a shirt
Get off me baby
They don't love me
Let 'em wonder why
here to stay and they goin' bye bye

Who's the one calling you baby?
Who's in love with yo @$$ like crazy?
Who, who, who's gonna flag down our ship?
Just tryin' to get the love you give baby

Girl my love is your love
And there ain't nothing in this world
That they can do to make me give you up
Ooo, ooo baby
You will always be my girl
So let 'em do whatever
Say whatever
'Cause I ain't givin' you up
No, no, no, no...

Before & After on the Palumbo...

I sincerely apologize I didn't have my fact straight. I have been educated and now stand correct. My brother only lost 20 pounds in the first 3 months on the 80/20 diet. His weight loss sky rocketed on the Dave Palumbo Diet, which include HIGH amounts of protein and appropriate fat. The wonderful thing about this diet, is you totally get your 1CHEAT day. This day can be used to eat WHATEVER, and I mean WHATEVER the heck you want. My brother started at 345 pounds, 2 months later he now only weighs 252 and he's completely lean. My favorite part of this diet, is the exercise required. I love to work out my body but with my RA issues, it's been very hard to get a good calorie burning session in. This only requires 20 to 30 minutes of low cardio in keeping your heart rate at 120 beats per second. My husband has been on this for a month, starting at 330 pounds and now at 282 pounds. I know this works. I've witness the results.

SOME BEFORE AND AFTERS...







Dave Palumbo's Cut Diet... (high protein)

The premise of the diet is high protein (about 1- 1 1/2 gram per pound), moderate fat (about 1/2 g per lb) and low low carbs (no direct sources of carbs). During this diet, the brain goes into ketosis (it uses ketone bodies for energy-- fats) and thus the energy requirements by the body can almost all be supplied by fats (which you'll be taking in plenty of). The only activity that uses carbs will be the weight workout which may use 40grams per workout. You will get these 40g indirectly through the foods you'll be eating. As a backup, the cheat meal you'll be having once per week will provide a storehouse of glycogen (glucose) in case of emergency. So, you see, very little gluconeogenesis in the liver will be occurring. If we keep cortisol low (by
restricting STIMULANTS) we'll ensure that muscle is spared!

HAVE YOUR CHEAT MEAL ON THE SAME DAY EVERY WEEK, last meal of the
day so you dont cheat again.

Fiber helps burn fat! Everyone should take fiber 2x per day. Fiber actually helps increase the absorption of calcium.
When following my diet plan (which includes getting your brain into ketosis), there can be NO starchy carbs eaten!



For a 200lb man:

MEAL #1
5 whole eggs (make sure to buy OMEGA-3 EGGS from the supermarket. They contain virtually NO saturated fat and tons of good OMEGA-3 fats); add another 4 egg whites to this (they don?t need to be the Omega-3 ones; you can use liquid egg whites)
(women only need 3 whole O3 eggs)

MEAL #2
SHAKE: 50g Whey Protein with 1 ? tablespoon of All Natural Peanut butter (no sugar)

MEAL #3
"Lean Protein Meal": 8oz chicken with 1/2-cup cashew nuts (almonds, or walnuts) (women only need 30g protein)

MEAL #4
SHAKE: 50g Whey Protein with 1 ? tablespoons of All Natural Peanut butter (no sugar added)

MEAL #5
"Fatty Protein Meal": 8oz Salmon, Swordfish, or RED MEAT with a green salad (no tomatoes, carrots, or red peppers) with 1 tablespoon of Olive Oil or Macadamia nut oil and vinegar

MEAL #6
SHAKE: 50g Whey with 1 ? tablespoon all natural peanut butter or 4 whole (Omega-3) eggs and 4 extra whites (women only need 30g protein)

For a 250lb+ man:
Meal 1 6 whole Omega-3 eggs (women only need 3 whole O3 eggs)
Meal 2 8oz chicken with 1/2 cup raw almonds
Meal 3 50g whey with 2 tablespoons all natural peanutbutter (women only need 30g protein)
Meal 4 8oz salmon with 1 cup asparagus with 1 tablespoon macadamia nut oil
Meal 5 50 g whey with 2 tablespoon PB (women only need 30g protein)
Meal 6 6 whole eggs (women only need 3 whole eggs)

Remember, it takes 3-4 days to get into a strong ketosis where your brain is using ketone bodies (fats), instead of carbs, for energy. Be patient.

Many times I'll switch to an alternatiing diet where one day it will be protein/fat......then another protein/vegetables (very little fat). The great thing about the body and fat is that ESSENTIAL FATTY ACIDS can be stored in the muscle for several days, up to 2 weeks......therefore, once an adequate storehouse of Essential Fats are built up, the body can be "tortured" a little and it still won't give up muscle (that's assuming you're still taking in adequate protein. Protein can't be stored).

1oz almonds equals 6g carbs (2 of those grams are fiber) and 2oz equals 12g of carbs.

With the beef meal (any fatty protein meal), you should have the green salad with 1 tablespoon of Olive or Mac oil INSTEAD of the nuts. Only eat the nuts with the LEAN PROTEIN MEAL (chicken, turkey, lean fish)

The best fat sources come from the essential fatty acids-- Omega-6 and Omega-3's. Most of us get plenty of Omega-6s from cooking oils, ect..........however the Omega-3's are harder to get. I recommend WHOLE OMEGA-3 EGGS, FaTTY FISHS like SALMON and SWORDFISH and TUNA and MACKEREL, ALMONDS and WALNUTS have some OMEGA-3's (as well as OMEGA-6s). ANother great fat source is MONOUNSATURATES such as EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL and MACADAMIA NUT OIL.....they aren't essential but they are great for the metabolism (great source of energy) and they are extremely good for your heart.

You're not getting any indirect sources of carbs (just from the 1 spoonful of PB.... you may want to have at least one 1/3cup nuts meal. Remember, Olive or Macadamia nut oil is predominantly a MONOUNSATURATED FAT (good for the heart, but not essential)........ the nuts, and fish oil have the essential fats in them. Also, with regard to FLAX SEED OIL, the OMEGA-3 Fatty Acids found in them (alpha-linolenic acid) has a very poor conversion to DHA and EPA (Essential Omega-3 intermediates) in the HUMAN........therefore, you're much better off taking in FISH OILS (that already contain DHA/EPA) than FLAX SEED OIL.

Once fat loss slows, I always increase cardio first, then I increase the amount of fat burners (clen, cytomel, lipolyze).........After those other methods are exhausted, only then, do I play with the diet.

Always eat BEFORE lifting........never BETWEEN lifting and cardio.
Artificial Sweetners:
The artificial sweetener itself (eg. aspartame, sucralose) wont cause a problem. It's what some companies complex it with. For example, EQUAL and SPLENDA combine their aspartame and sucrolose with 1g of maltodextrin........whereas, in diet drinks, they don't do that. So, diet drinks are okay, SPLENDA and EQUAL must be used in moderation (STEVIA BALANCE is fine though since they use inulin fiber instead of maltodextrin

Forget using:
-MCT's are a waste when you're dieting. If you're gonna use FATS for an energy source, they might as well serve a function in the body. MCTs are useless. They can only serve as a source of energy!
-Arginine is not going to do anything. It will DO something; just not dramatic.

Cardio:
CARDIO should be performed at a low intensity (under 120bpm heartrate). This will ensure that you use FAT as a fuelsource since as your heartrate increase, carbohydrates begin to become the preferred fuel of choice for the body. When on a low carb diet, you're body will break down muscle and turn that into carbs. Remember, Fat CANNOT be changed into carbs. Therefore, for bodybuilding, the rule of cardio should be LONG DURATION, LOW INTENSITY

never do less than 20 min per session

The BOTTOM LINE is that low intensity cardio (while you might need more of it) ensures that fat is utilized and muscle is spared (especially while on my high protein/moderate fat/low carb diety).

Do you feel the treadmill is better for cardio, or is the bike(stationary or recumbent) just as good? As long as the intensity is LOW, it doesn't matter which piece of equipment you use

Q&A:
Q: Is gluconeogenesis inevitable in your diet?
Dave Palumbo: NO

Q: If so do I need to consume more than 1.5 grams of protein per lb of LBM so as not to lose muscle?
Dave Palumbo: The fat spares the protein....when the brain is in ketosis, the carbohydrate requirements are very very low.

Q: How much (percentage) of my protein intake would be turned into glucose (gluconeogenesis)?
Dave Palumbo: Very little (maybe 10%)

Q: What do you think of submersion in cold water as a means of burning bodyfat (thermogenesis)?
Dave Palumbo: HOCUS POKUS!

Q: How about drinking lots of cold water (I think this was even suggested by Elligton Darden) to help lose bodyfat?
Dave Palumbo: RIDICULOUS

Q: Do you think drinking lots of Green Tea is beneficial to fat loss?
Dave Palumbo: Somewhat helpful.

Q: How much is the ideal dosage of Omega 3 for a 220 lb. individual ?
Dave Palumbo: Try to take in about 9g per day

Q: How many Tbs of peanut butter could I have instead of 1/2 cup of cashewnuts?
Dave Palumbo: 2 tablespoons, two tablespoons of Peanut Butter contains 190 calories and 16 grams of fat (so 1.5 tablespoon equals about 12 grams fat) ...whereas......... 2oz (1/3 cup) almonds (about 40 almonds) = 12g fat

Q: I want to add that if I cant find the omega eggs here locally. Can I use international egg whites and just take an omega supplement?
Dave Palumbo: You can get away with 5 whole eggs (regular ones) once a day........not a big deal. You'll be burning up all that fat anyway.

Q: Whats the max cups # of coffee ( no sugar ) can consume on Dave's diet ?
Dave Palumbo: Try to limit to 2 cups per day.......I realize that towards the end of the diet you may need more to help you get through the day.

Q: If you cook tilapia in macadamon nut oil?do you coun't the oil as your fat for that meal! Depends how much you use.
Dave Palumbo: If you just grease the pan with it, no!

Q: what is the protein,carb and fat ratio for offseason
Dave Palumbo: 50% Protein, 25% fat, 25% carbs

Q: and the ratio for contest prep.
Dave Palumbo:60% protein, 30% fat, 10% carbs

Tons more info:

THE PALUMBO DIET - talk about it... - Muscular Development Forums

Outline of Dave Palumbo's Diet For Cutting - Page 9 - Bodybuilding.com Forums

Manic Monday Random Rumblings.



Just a few Random thoughts as my RA Saga Continues... I have good news and bad news. Bad news first, I was denied the Enbrel treatment. BOO! Cigna you stink. (LOL) The good news is two days after I received notice that I have been approved for Humira treatment. YAY! I don't even care that this is a self injectable. Today, I feel like dancing, singing and just coming back to life. I want to walk in the rain on a beautiful nature trail and slow dance with my husband in our living room.

I'm OH SO EXCITED to get my body back. I can't wait to DANCE and get my Zumba ON...I've got to shed 85pounds by the end of the year. This will improve a whole lot of things. I'll finally be able to wear all my old jeans, floss high heels, take full body pictures, take my daughter swimming, let my husband make sweet amazing love to me, go to the gym with my brothers, really get back into the groove of life. OH MY done being a BAG LADY. (lol) but for reals.

I really want to join the "Save the Susu's" walk, but my body is telling me otherwise. UGH! I hate when that happens. I'm going to try walking today and everyday after. Let's see if this will work. I want to get more involved with the Cancer fundraisers, because my mother is a breast cancer survivor, my best friends son has cancer and cancer claimed the life of my favorite uncle, Alofa Tanuvasa.

Yesterday, I was totally humbled by General Conference. Today, a whole different story. Once again, Monday morning left me dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks. Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life. :P It's getting a little better with my R&B mix. RADIO KILLA! lol.

Excited for the FALL. Can't wait to pull out all the fall decor. Now that mom&dad are moving next door, we can really decorate the full porch. Got to check if my orange lights are still working. So much to do, so little time. Yes, Marie I will be attending your temple picture class and will hit up Leslie about paying my $52. I can't wait. SLC temple it is. That's our (Sho & I) temple. However, LA for my mother cause that's where our family was sealed.

It's been such a crazy day. Work was busy as ever. We were missing our #1 Brandon. (LOL) Cameron hooked it up by staying maxed all dizzo. Thank goodness. See, it's small blessing like that, I can acknowledge. OMG, I can't forget to contact some of the photography buddies to set up a session for Mone & Ash. They are just a gorgeous couple.Mone has always been handsome, but with his current weight loss, he looks absolutely amazing. That will be my late Anniversary gift to one of my favorite couples.

Okay, it's Monday and I'm feeling like this week started out just awful. It's CS Week and there were Einsien bagels provided, that I couldn't even touch. UGH! People were whining, acting the fool in chat and had me pounding on my keyboard, as if it was intended for their face. (lol) My protein shake was yummy this morning. Phentermine, is not allowing me anymore. My cotton mouth can't get enough water. On top of all of that, I can't stop going to the fale malolo. ARGH! WooSaa.. Music, it the only thing keeping me together, today.

Here I go ....




WISH ME LUCK!