MY LIFE. MY THOUGHTS. MY WORDS.
Make up, Shoes, Jewelry, Purfume and Purses are a common ground for women and girls. Well at least it's something my daughter and I have in common. I don't know what her reason is but mines is that no matter what size or shape you are these wonderful things will ALWAYS fit. So there we were buying a gift for daddy and of course like mother like daughter, a trip to the store means a purchase for everyone. This little Diva is starting way too young.

3 Strikes 4 Me

So July 21st was the fabulous date that the infamous "ShoLuv" was born. . .HOORAH. On Sunday before his birthday my huneybunches decided he didn't want to celebrate it on Tuesday because he wanted to work for double time pay. Ok. Ok. Ok. Fine by me. Whatevers clever. Tuesday rolls around and I'm like thinking this is the best day to hook up his gift. On top of buying him the IPhone, I'm thinking I want to add a little something something that he would want and not the usual, "what he needs" gifts. So what else would he want other then "SHO Time" and what does this ding dong do during "Sho Time"? Video games! So I'm like, "Hey Lana, let's get Daddy a video game" and of course she agrees, cause MaMa is always right, right? sike! Anyways, I get to Game Stop and buy him NCAA 2010 take it home and dress it up with an All Natural gift bag and tissue. All natural, aye? LOL. Something I want to quickly mention is that my little bumpkin LanaBear has been trained by her daddy to keep it on "The Low" about what he's spending when MaMa's not around. With that being said, Lana doesn't say a freaking word to me about anything. She just smiles when asked if she thinks daddy would like this new game. So I'm thinking YAY let's surprise him with this right before bed, so I can get a little something something too. *winks* Great plans goes down the toilet when Lana comes running out with "Daddy, Daddy, We got you something special and I'm just feeling like I just want to choke her, at this point. So, he opens our small add on gift and smiles. It was a suspicious smile. You know the kind that reads, "OH SNAP", "MY BAD" and "*&$%#@". So I'm glaring at him and giving him that "WTF" look. He says's nonchalantly, I got this game already. UGH... ERRR.... ***Strike 1***

Wednesday rolls around, and I have an early Doctor's appointment to check my eyes. I'm excited now I can get my new colored contacts. Yippee, YaY, Yo, No! I'm reading the letters feeling confident that I'm good. Then *drum rolls* your going to need glasses. Not contacts. He's says, "I'm recommending glasses" and I'm thinking, "My eyes are what? Glasses what? UGH... ERRR.... ***Strike 2****

Before my baby Sho's B'day, we've been talking about how old we are turning. Dumb dumb dumb me did the Math and was like, "Yes, baby you are going to be 33". My husband was so adamant in his argument and insisted that he was only turning 32. I mean he was just irritated with me when I would mention 33. So finally I drop it and stupid me was all rolling with his flow like whoa. So I bought a cake for him and his clients then orders his B'Day cupcakes because this is what he wanted I got all excited about the Lion, Elephant and Gorilla on his cupcakes because he's been all into the Animal Planet. During some last minute shopping I realize I didn't get any new candles for his cupcakes. So I grab 2 candles, 3 and 2. So we have his BBQ and only family invited as he suggested it should be a private get together. As the day ended we let the fire in the pit die down and turn on the decorative patio lights. We lit up the Fire pit and started to relax. I decided to go in the house and grab his cupcakes. I lit up the candles and being excited that I was rushed out to the patio to present them to him and start singing. As we sing Happy Birthday to him, I couldn't help but to notice that everyone was glaring at the cake with a question mark in their eyes. Then, my father in law turns to me and whispers, "You have it wrong, my son is 33". My husband of course busted out in a loud laugh, then stopped and gave me this dumb found look, trying to look all lost. UGH... ERRR.... ***Strike 3***

New Years Suprise




I'm no devil and I ain't anything near a Saint, but boy do I have a temper. My poor poor husband, Sho. He has taken so much nonsense from me. I'm a brat, I know. So here we go. . . New Years. Hoi! Ask our good friends and family who have felt my wrath and witness the anger that storms over Sho, when the Queen B is unhappy. Hahahahahaha! Nah, but for reals. . . It's New Years Eve and time to get ready for the Ward Bash. To get all Dolled up, it takes me a good 2 to 3 hours. Yes, Lady don't act like you don't know. Makeup can do wonders. So here I was getting all dressed with the hair all DID. This is how we be celebrating our womanhood. You know this!

It took me a good 2 1/2 hours to dress for the New Years event. I'm ready to get my groove on and shake what my mama gave me. I wanted to show my husband that I still had it going on. We are hanging out with the homies at the dance and the DJ plays "BOOGIE SHOES". Now I'm like "yeah that's it, that's the kut right there". Now I'm really feeling like I'm gonna get down. So, I get up to dance to this classic jam and my husband wants to tell me he doesn't want to dance. So MODED! I'm like "OH HEO NO" and in an instant my ghettoness is loose as I straight turned into the Dramatic Psycho of Charm School.

Beyond pissed off and about to let my rage turn, we headed into the hallway now making our way out before the count down to got eat. Suddenly, the lights in the hall went out. "This is my chance", I thought. ((((DING!)))) When the lights went on, my husband was all shocked and was looking at his buddy like "WTF" and his boy was like "What's up Sho"? He straight told him that as the lights went out, I straight ran over and socked his face. His boy couldn't believe him because I was down the hall wishing an elderly man in our ward, a safe and Happy New Years. I apologized for letting my fist connect with his face. I went home and made sure I'd end his night with a BANG! Happy New Years Baby!

Dear Alana, From the very depth of my soul, I pray in solitude for your understanding in my hope for your existence. As, it seems to me that there is far too much pain here in our small world that soars through time and space. Ever turning, ever changing, it spins, allowing light and darkness to infiltrate it's seemingly thin glass dome at random. Lives come and go. People pass, meet, love and leave. We chance upon one another through some miracle of fate and come to know others who possess a myriad of unique experiences, pains, and joys. And here and there, now and again, souls touch and love one another, and an endelible impression is made on the heart that will never quite recover it's original form. And so it is that I view my life in moments like these. I catch a tear at times of one caught in a torment of black and white, and the confusion of the hand delt to them at birth. And although I don't understand the game, out of passion and desperation, I try ever so diligently and tenderly to explain the cards that are often at times all too cruel and unfair. Not that life is necessarily so, but that the persons who come and go through that life are at times hurtful or unkind. And I wonder how we can possibly reach out with our limited hands and resources to heal the wounds that still bleed, infecting all those who come into their diseased reach. I try to understand and explain how opposites have power in their very meaning. That strengths have power in their weaknesses, and that weakness is always supported by strength. Power lies dormantly in the talent to twist and turn life's experiences in such a way, so as to see all sides and ends. Optimism allows for self-fulfilling prophesy to be a reality, and not just a notion. Tempering the wild human soul is the sign of an individual who possesses a practical yet passionate wisdom. And patience for lack of understanding from those around us is the soil for a garden of wealth and beauty. Belief in the goodness of others brings a peace that is not easily shattered... ...and as I sit here alone with the my music around me like a warm blanket and think of you, in all your impressionable youth and beauty, my heart swells with tears and love at the years that lie ahead of you. A respect for the survivor in you is amazing and pushes me to be what you need for me to be in whatever moment is at hand. And when all is quiet and the lights are low, I think of you. I hope you are there tomorrow when I need you. And I decide in moments of peace and calm that love is indeed a power with an unseen force, and that my two hands and simple heart must surely be means enough to caress and massage at least one aching soul. And so it is that I am slowly forming a life philosophy, that a little can be a lot. And that hands held can be a strength to someone, as well as a harsh and severe word. I look on those around us, some more fortunate, and some less and I believe that there is an element of fairness that expresses itself in the form of freedom, opportunity and will power. I try with all my might to embody this power and represent it for those around me. I try to show the power inherently within all to achieve and find happiness and success. Oh, all have black marbles in their jar, but also clear and beautifully brilliant ones as well. And though anger and tears are rightly justfied over the black, as my heart aches for so many injustices that eat at the very soul of chance and hope, I have chanced at the opportunity to show someone a shaft of light that breaks through their life and graces the ground with greenery, spring, and beauty, and beg them to seize opportunity of every good thing that can bring happiness to life. I hope that I am understanding you the way you meant and need to be understood. I hope that I can be for you what you need from me, and that my gifts- however small and inconsequiential they are, will touch you somewhere in your head and heart that think and feel so much, and that you will know that I am one of many who will love you. And I pray silently, that you hope for you, like I do for you. Eternally yours, Mommy

It's now 6:30pm and I'm just sitting at my desk staring a the beautiful view outside of this window, contemplating, pondering, and then it hits me, "I really need to rearrange my priorities". I took a test that a friend has emailed me and realized that I had gotten so caught up in my work that I have neglected my family. My answers career, money, pride, love and family. That's all in the wrong order. Oh my! I'm stepping back and re-evaluating things. I'm going to make some changes. Out with the old and In with the new. Wish me luck.